Friday, October 21, 2011

The Textie Monster

When I first started writing this blog, a significant part of it was about my life as a single lady my senior year of college. When I last left off, I had just called my ex to propose a friends only lunch to get some closure but was cruelly rejected.

After that, I was devastated but realized that was probably the closure that I needed. We were not getting back together and it was time to move on and stop being the pathetic sack that I had become. In direct contrast to this, I remained close with Ex's family.

So anyway, I had a few unsuccessful attempts at getting a steady fuck buddy. There was no luck when I went back home either because I found myself repulsed by everyone I had hooked up with prior to college. I decided I would become a class act and start actually dating like people did in the 30's and 40's.

I got my opportunity one night when an older guy sent me a drink across the bar. At first, I accepted the drink and ignored the guy because I feel like when people do something like this it is a bad sign. But then he bought my friends and I a round of shots as well and I figured I would at least hear the guy out. He went through the usual, "blah blah blah, most beautiful girl in the bar, can't stop looking at you," bullshit which should've just set off more warning signs. He seemed nice enough, though, so I accepted a date for the next Friday but I said that I wanted to eat at the bar that we were at (which was a steakhouse during the day) and that I wanted to sit at the bar, not in the restaurant.

On the day of, he tried to get me to go into the classier side of the restaurant but I declined since I wanted to keep this as safe and informal as possible. The bartenders knew him which was a slight warning sign but probably why he was trying to get me to eat in the restaurant. I had a drink and some sort of food but what I remember is that I could see this guy was going nowhere exciting in life (though he owned his own business) and that he was extremely, extremely boring. I ended the meal as quickly as possible and reluctantly let him walk me home and declined any sort of kiss or even a hug. I basically just sprinted inside the door and shut it.

About 5 minutes after I got upstairs I got a text, "hey, I had a good time tonite and really enjoyed your company. want to get chili at that restaurant 4 lunch tomorrow?" (I had mentioned that I love chili over dinner and he mentioned a place that had good chili downtown). Ugh, I realized, I had started shitting where I ate. I LOVED that bar that I met him at and would not be able to stop going there in order to avoid this guy but also wouldn't be able to go on another date with him. I decided to just play coy and prayed that eventually he would get tired of it.

"Thanks, but I've got all sorts of exams coming up so I will have to study and not be able to go out for the next two weeks and then I'm going home."

"u won't be able to take even the smallest break?"

"Nope, these tests are crazy and I have a GPA based scholarship that I could lose if I don't do well."

"ok, well send me a pic."

Now besides the fact that basically nothing I had said was true, WTF?! A picture?

"What? I just saw you like 20 minutes ago."

"ya, but I want a pic so I can show my friends how hot u r."

"No."

"please???? I really want it so I can have something to look at while ur gone."

"No, this is weird."

"how is it weird? ppl have pictures of people there [sic] dating all the time."

At this point, I decided to just stop responding. This is what happened over the next few hours:

"ok, well can I come over then while u study if I cant have a picture?"
"when are you going to be done studying?"
"r we going to get chili tomorrow?"
"we can go back to the steer if u want instead. they have good chili to."
"SEND ME A PIC! PLEASE!"
"wut subject r u studying? I mite be able to help u..."
"u can come over here and study if u want. im cool with that."
"when r u leaving 4 break? I think we could probably meet be4 then."
"SEND ME A PICTURE NOW! LOL NO JOKE!"
"what bars do u like to go downtown? I no a few bartenders down there who could hook us up."
"The Bills are playing on sunday and my buddy can get tix. want to go wit? there sick seats and wed have a great time." (This one was actually kind of tempting)
"are u seriously not going to send me a picture? that's kind of rude."
"lol ok fine, no picture. let's try to meet up before you leave."
"good night beautiful... hope to see you soon."

I think there were even more texts but those are the ones that I remember the clearest. In the morning I got another one:

"good morning gorgeous. u ready for chili today?"

I was so angry at myself for being so foolish as to accept a date with someone that I met at the bar that I frequented ALL THE TIME. For the next two weeks, I avoided The Steer and when it was IMPOSSIBLE, I would have ShaSha do a run through and scope out the scene for me. He texted me periodically for the next few days and while I was home but I never responded.

Once, after break, ShaSha and I determined that the coast was all clear and joyfully skipped into our favorite spot (which was across the bar from PicPrick's favorite spot). We squeezed into the front and guess who was standing right next to me. Of course, it was PicPrick.

"BEXXX! What's going on? I haven't seen you in awhile. You look good."

"Um, thanks. I'm going to go... to go... uh... somewhere... else."

He sent me shots later that night. I drank them, but reluctantly. He texted me that night, "hey, we never did get chili."

"No, and we never will. I think you might be too old for me."

"wow..ouch. can u send me a pic at least?"

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