So, we dragged our poor tired feet all over Brooklyn, growing angrier and angrier and also more pumped up with coffee than we'd ever been. See, we often had to kill hours between appointments during which we would need to charge our power-guzzling smartphones (mine especially - the Thunderbolt is a total juicehead). I kept Bananagrams in my purse and we'd go into coffee shops, guzzle coffee for a few hours and I would thoroughly and repeatedly dominate in B-grams.
You're probably thinking, "Bexxx - why the fuck would you go to a coffee shop when you could go into any one of the millions of very cool bars in BK and day drink?! This doesn't sound like you at all!" Well, as previously mentioned, I was very poor because I had to save all of my money for the move and also, I didn't have a job. They were dark, (more) sober times.
One day, we excitedly traveled from BK to Sunnyside, Queens in response to a post on Craigslist that said "Apt - NO FEE -$1100" which was below our $1150 range. We got to the corner where the guy told us to meet him (this is not as unusual as it sounds - the brokers often resisted providing the exact address of the apartment and would make you wait on corners like common street whores).
The broker never showed which proved to me that Brokers were just as jerky in Queens as they were in Brooklyn. To top it all off, he said he had other apartments in the area but charged a one month fee. Ugh, even writing about it now makes me SO ANGRY! Luckily, I was able to get another appointment three blocks away by searching on my battery-greedy phone so we headed over there.
That's where we met our tiny Turkish (?) female broker, a girl about 4'11 who seemed to have permanent Kool-aid stains around her mouth. She took us to a tiny, 385 sq foot apt around the corner and we fell in love. The location was amazing - you could walk to basically anything you want in 10 minutes or less (strip club, pharmacies, grocery stores, dollar stores, liquor stores, florists, hardware stores, a million different types of food, and pubs/bars galore - many staffed with actual Irish!) and we knew that we would have to sacrifice space if we wanted a good location.
There were two problems with the apartment. One: There was a $75/person application fee and a $500 broker fee. Two: It was in a building that was owned by a company that, when Boyfriend was interning at a legal housing clinic, he was constantly litigating against because they were douches to their tenants.
We decided to overlook these flaws and apply for our favorite apartment by far. We payed the $150, filled out many piles of paperwork, provided documents detailing every portion of our life and prayed. And then didn't hear anything for days.