Monday, May 16, 2011

Writing Everything I Feel to my Boss (Part 2)

This is especially relevant today because I was just released from my job. Not fired, as they pointed out but released. I am BEYOND relieved. I feel like I just had a large Midwestern Russian mother pulled off of my back and now I can walk free.

But I'm jumping ahead. Immediately following the letter I sent to my CEO, I had a meeting with our VP of Operations, VP of Development and our HR Manager. It ended well. I left feeling that I was an integral part of the company and they were going to hire a receptionist, which would've ended most of my complaints there.

The next day, I was called in my CEO's office to further discuss my complaints. Since my CEO is a decrepit, late-end septuagenarian with a tendency to ramble, meetings with him range from severely boring and irrelevant to insane. During the meeting, I told him that I hated being a receptionist and he told me that I wasn't a team player. He said after he read my letter, he had no idea how he was going to face me every day, knowing that I hated him. He highlighted how I said the word despised over and over. I didn't deny and sat on the edge of my seat, assuming it was coming - my freedom.

It never came. Instead, he started rambling about how the President of our company, his wife, wasn't able to have children, how he came from nothing and worked his way out of the ghettos, how he could EASILY go back to having nothing because he came from nothing (from a guy who has a driver who literally drives him 1.5 blocks from his Park Ave apt to our office and who only eats in the finest restaurants). He touched on how his son (from a previous marriage) was functionally illiterate when he graduated from college but now runs a multi-million dollar publishing company because he knew how to schmooze and hire the people who can read for him. He never addressed my accusations of sexual harassment. I was practically falling off the seat at this point, half baffled, half praying, with a half smile on my face, expecting him to say, "You just don't have it in you, get the fuck out of here."

Then the meeting just ended. It was an hour and a half long, most of it stories about the CEO's family. It only ended because the other people who were in the meeting were begging to leave so they could go to the bathroom. I thought maybe I would get fired the next day or the next day but never anything. The only thing that happened is that my CEO stopped speaking to me, completely (unless absolutely necessary). I trained and completed a half marathon. I celebrated an anniversary with my boyfriend. My life just kept going on but I was getting more and more miserable inside, debating whether or not to just quit and fuck the unemployment. I knew that I needed the money and so I was trapped until they broke and fired me.

But they didn't. A month went by and I was still around. It wasn't until it had been over a month and a half - this past Wednesday - that I finally broke the camel's back. But that's another story for a Part 3.

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