Thursday, June 24, 2010

Stalking Goes Public, Part One

After C shattered my heart, matters were made unfortunately hilarious when I went back to Buffalo to live with…his brother. Since all of my friends were a year older than me, they graduated in the spring before my senior year. I had not made any real friends in my own grade and thus ended up living with my ex-boyfriend's younger brother, Dandy. While at first I was pretty sure this was the worst thing on Earth, Dandy ended up being supportive MOST of the time. For example, he friended Whorezahan on Facebook and gave me his password so that I might stalk her whenever I wanted. At first this wasn't necessary, because I still had C's password and his only two friends at the time were Whorzie and I. Delightful.

Soon after we broke up C changed his password. I'm certain this had nothing to do with the fact that I would call him up every day and harass him about her interests (Likes: Chocolate, the darker the better nah mean ;) … Favorite music: Anything I can grind to). I don't think the password change was a result of when I took photos off her Facebook and sent them to everyone I knew so that they might see how ugly she is. Really, I'm still confused why he felt the need to change his password.

Plus, it wasn't like I could stalk her myself. Not only was her profile mostly private to her non-friends, but she also blocked me after I told C that I was composing a private message about what a slut she was and how she should stay away from men that aren't hers and white men in general, if she REALLY likes her chocolate dark. I never got to send that message because right after I composed it, she disappeared from Facebook. After that, I defriended C.

So this is where living with Dandy wasn't all bad. Like I said, it gave me full power over stalking both C and Whorzie. I was on Dandy's Facebook CONSTANTLY. I read deeply into every status update of C or Whorzie's. I'll never forget the day she updated her status to "walking down the aisle in my white dress." I almost crapped myself thinking that I was in one of those horrible situations where you date someone for two years and right after they break up with you, they get engaged to someone else. This wasn't eased by the pictures of her sitting on his lap and erotically licking an ice cream cone or the pictures of them grinding at a dance, C with a huge grin plastered on his face. He always told ME he didn't like to dance.

As if FB weren't enough, C's sister gave me her MySpace password so that I could stalk Whorzie from there too (though his sister was all paranoid about people hacking her account so she would change her password every week or so – not conducive to my need to secretly stalk). My stalking was so thorough and so incessant that, to this day, I still know wayyyyyy too much about that girl. I even found her home address on and contemplated sending her family a postcard alerting them to the fact that their daughter was dating a white atheist (her parents were devout Muslims and were not aware of C). I never sent that postcard but only because I couldn't figure out the logistics of sending out a postcard so that it wouldn't look like it came from Buffalo. That would make it too obvious that I had sent it.

None of this was enough for my insatiable need for information. Ultimately, this came down to the fact that I never understood how my Muslim-hating (not because of 9/11, just because they get a bad rep as an absurd group of believers)(he also hated Evangelicals, to be fair), rap-loathing, ghetto-bashing boyfriend left me for a girl that embodied everything he claim to despise. So to complete my stalking, I added her screen name to my buddy list and that lead to my ultimate AIM faux pas.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

1 comment:

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